Full Moon in Sagittarius
What’re you doing, love? Maybe you weren’t getting what you wanted by being direct and now you’ve taken to covert ways to get it. Maybe you think that you’re saving face by withholding truth about yourself. You will ultimately not benefit by going behind others’ backs, or generally lacking transparency, so as not to deal with resistance or backlash. Take a deeper look at the reason behind procrastinating, skirting commitment, or whatever else you’re hiding from. Most likely, you have an unrealistic impression about the possible outcome. If keeping this secret does not bring you closer together with whoever is in the dark, consider bringing your truth to light. Remember: this is about you. Speak from your perspective, revealing yourself. This should not be about anyone else since you may not have a full understanding or impression about them or their experience. Resist the temptation to project your feelings onto anyone else, make assumptions about anyone else, or try to do anything for the sake of anyone else, i.e. protect them from themselves. We are all only capable of living our own lives. Speaking our own truth allows others to do the same.
When you voice your truth, you will move from this current place of turmoil towards tranquility. Instead of looking at the situation as you have, direct your energy ahead. The present will be sad. The present will be difficult. The present will be transformative. Embrace the present for its long-term benefits. Set your sights across the horizon at the calm waters in the future as you ride out the choppy waters in your present. Work to clear the chatter of current issues during your daily meditation. Focus on aligning your heart and head. The communion of intuition and logic is necessary for holistic growth.
All that said, you’ll continue to question your path. Self-doubt is doing a number on your inner strength. Your self-confidence is low and it's making you feel weak, inadequate, or vulnerable. Address any anger issues with self-discipline; that is don't beat yourself up for feeling ill-equipped to handle everything life throws at you. Remember that self-esteem is not connected to other’s opinions about you being ‘good enough.’ In fact the opposite. Take a step towards getting to know your genuine self; hang out with you and explore what you like about yourself. If it feels uncomfortable to date yourself and you start to reach out to people or things, including substances, for distraction, remember that you’re going to be with you for the rest of your life. Nothing and no one else will be there forever. Just You. A lifetime of discomfort waits if you don’t feel secure being with just you. How do you see you clearly?
Check your May 15 New Moon intentions. Are they about you or what you want from others? If you find that what you’re attempting to manifest isn’t working out, reassess. Sure, it’s tempting to read the end of the book first to find out where the whole thing is heading instead of letting the journey reveal itself or exploring the ups and downs with the author. But that’s what life is challenging you to do. Leave the final pages alone. Deal with your anxiety as you feel it. Practice self-control. Rein it in or scale it back to curb overwhelmed feelings. Plan. Prepare. Stay quiet. Don’t rush.
Reexamine what you think you want. Embrace the belief that respect, honesty, and balance will serve you. Collaborating is much more rewarding than simply winning, which implies self-reliance. Anaïs Nin wrote “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Colloquially, your vibe attracts your tribe. If you want it, you have to be it. Looking for a mature, stable, fulfilling partnership? Do the work to reflect those qualities.
Tarot spread: Seven of Swords, Six of Swords, Strength (R), Ace of Pentacles (R), Two of Cups